


Nostalgia

by ilovemyalpaca



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Nostalgia, but i couldn't help myself, i don't even ship st berry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 18:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/576447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemyalpaca/pseuds/ilovemyalpaca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rachel still thinks of him from time to time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nostalgia

**Author's Note:**

> Because sometimes I need sappy, sad St. Berry. Originally posted Mar 10, 2011 to fanfiction.net.

Rachel still thinks of him from time to time.

Through everything that happened, she still feels as though he loved her. Truly he did.

Jesse St. James did the same thing she would have. She would have chosen her career over him any day.

It is because of this that she can’t blame him for betraying her. She wants to. Not a day goes by that Rachel Berry doesn’t want to hate him with all she’s worth. It would make a great chapter in her auto biography someday and honestly, it has changed who she is as a person.

But no, there’s no disdain. Only a sense of loss and confusion.

Rachel still misses him from time to time.

She couldn’t call him her first love because that had been Cary Grant and then there was a Fred Astaire stage that she’d rather not remember but even withstanding those two, Finn had been there before and after Jesse.

Certainly he had made the biggest impression with the way they had sung together. In Rachel’s opinion, she’d never find another that could duet with her like Jesse St. James. His voice and hers simply melded together.

She’d been trying to forget the way he’d sounded. Tries to forget how it felt to be right beside him and know that they were making beautiful music together, as cliché as it sounds.

But she can’t.

Rachel still loves him from time to time.

She’s only just realizing how much she cared about him. How much she enjoyed having him around. How his jokes actually made her laugh and never made her feel like he was simply making fun of her like the others did.

From every movie she’d ever seen, every play she’d ever read, every performance she’d ever given, love had been some passionate and powerful thing that overtook you and filled you with wonder and excitement.

With Jesse, she’d never felt that. It had been calm and content. That’s why she assumed it was companionship and not love. Lately, she’s been wondering if love can tiptoe in and surprise you when you least expect it.

Maybe love comes softly.

Rachel still wants him from time to time.

That’s what brings her to pick up her phone and dial six familiar numbers before stopping at the seventh. It’s late but she knows he’ll be awake. He’s working on sheet music for vocal adrenaline’s newest number. That’s what she’d be doing.

She can picture him just as he was. That hair would curl and shine with very little products used on it. He would be chewing on the end of a pencil (his dirty little habit he’d accidentally shared with Rachel) and staring at the paper in front of him with that adorable little frown.

When he was around, Rachel would tap at the doorframe and he’d look up, surprised. Then Jesse would see it was her and smile. Oh god, his smile could melt the panties off a girl. In fact, Rachel had been so near giving in that night. He was amazing.

For all his charming good looks, it was the voice that did her in. I mean, of course, Rachel Berry would love a man’s voice. Of course, she’d nearly get off on just a favorite song. (There were some she avoided listening to for that very reason.)

But no, she wouldn’t dial that seventh number and she’d put the phone down.

Rachel still thinks of him from time to time.

But her dreams are stronger than her mind, stronger than her heart.


End file.
